Saturday, April 30, 2011

In Honor of the Royal Wedding...I Thee Blog


Apparently it has taken the royal wedding of the century to get me to start blogging again...on a personal level that is. 

So, this is my gift to the happy couple...a blog about royalty. Except in my case, wearing a "crown" means getting my hair colored every 6 weeks to cover the gray. My "crown" is full of gray these days.

Before you ask, I did NOT get up at 4am to watch the wedding. I have better things to do...like sleeping and working. That's why they make TiVo, peeps. Royal weddings do not pay bills either. If only.....


I love Kate's dress...I'm sorry...The Duchess of Cambridge. Did you know it costs $480,000? Apparently it had been made by flying unicorns and spun gold from the pot of a leprechaun. So what would I choose...the stunning McQueen dress or $480,000? The dress of course!

I'm kidding. Actually I'd buy the dress, wear it to like dinner or something...or perhaps talk the King Dad into renewing our vows...although he says "I've said our vows once, and if you didn't believe me then, why in the world would you believe me now?"....so I think that's off the table. Then I'd re-sell it on Craigslist for $500,000 to some woman in NYC or maybe Angelina Jolie. If you have her number let me know.


Did I mention I loved her dress? Just making sure...

I am excited for the happy couple. But, I will not be buying a commemorative plate from late night tv infomercials with the Duke and Duchess on it. I don't collect plates, so please don't buy me one. If you are at Costco anytime soon though I do need a pack of paper plates. That is what our "royal" family eats off of everyday. We go through about 400 a week. Prince Bossypants enjoys using paper plates as Frisbees, hats and flying saucers. We don't buy our children toys in case you were wondering....


She was at the royal wedding...what's her name? Posh Spice or something? Nobody cares. Yawn....



David Beckham was at the wedding....yes. Uh, huh...with his wife...whatever her name is. Push, Pull or something like that?


Yes, David was there with some lady wearing a disguise. Maybe it was his mother....You are looking quite Dapper David. Wait, I'm getting off topic...


Congrats to the happy couple! Love the dress Kate...love the dress. Call me...we'll hang out at the Palace soon. 

Kisses ~